Saturday, October 24, 2009

"The Letter"

I (actually the church in general) received a letter on Thursday from a local baptist church. I have been holding off posting about it because I wanted to not write while my emotions were still raw.

First a bit of back story before we get to the letter. Bethlehem sent out invitations for my installation service to all churches in our area along with the ELCA churches in the county.

So now the letter which I have not added anything to and have only subtracted the letterhead and the pastor's name (for I'm sure he would have no problem with me posting it but I do not have his permission, nor do I truly wish to be in conversation with him in order to get it.)

Dear Sir or Madam,

Having received your invitation to the installation of Rebecca Middeke-Conlin as minister of Bethlehem Lutheran Church, permit us to respond.

Whereas the mark of a child of God is obedience to God's commandments,
And hereby we do know him, if we keep his commandments. I John 2:3

And the mark of true Christian love is likewise obedience to His commandments,
By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments I John 5:2

And whereas God has commanded that women are to keep silence in churches,
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law I Corinthians 14:34

The Spirit of God affirming that it is shame for them to speak,
And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. I Corinthians 14:35

We, desiring to please Almighty God, have separated ourselves from the Lutheran churches as disobedient to the Scriptures and from Rebecca Middeke-Conlin as a shameful person, for thus saith the Lord.

Therefore we cannot accept your invitation but rather exhort you to receive what the Scriptures say and repent of this disobedience or to cease calling yourselves a Christian church.

Sincerely,
Baptist Pastor

He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him I John 2:4


WOW!!
Where to begin?

First off this letter saddens me.
It saddens me that some people are so burdened by keeping laws that are impossible to keep that they are not able to see the love and grace that abounds in Christ Jesus.

It saddens me to think about how the women in this congregation must be treated, as second class citizens incapable of any actual thought all because they were born with the wrong genitalia.

It saddens me that he is so over-come by the differences between our two congregations that he cannot celebrate the good news that we share together.

But this letter also outrages me. Outrage is probably too strong of a word, but I cannot think of a better one right now.

I'm offended that he took a invitation to a celebratory event as an opportunity to spout hate, superiority and smugness.

I am insulted that he is judging my character based entirely on my gender without first meeting me so that he may know my heart, personality, temperament, disposition, or any other attributes that God has created me to be outside of what is between my pants (and yes I said pants because I don't wear skirts that often).

I also feel violated that it is letters like this that many unchurched people think of when they think of Christianity. This kind of hatred, superiority and smugness often goes hand in hand with many Christian Fundamentalist but in exchange they actually turn many more people off from hearing Christ message of love, salvation, hope and grace than they ever helps "save."

I am also frustrated that this man used a verse about loving God's children as somehow a sign that the people of Bethlehem are not God's children. 1 John 5:1, the verse right before the one he used, says: "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the parent loves the child." So therefore even if, according to him, we are not obeying God's commandments by allowing a woman to speak in church, we are still people who believe that Jesus is the Christ and therefore are God's children, then according to 1 John 5:1 and 1 John 5:2, which he quoted, then he is to love us, the children, if he is to love God, the parent.

I am baffled that a man who used scripture to condemn Bethlehem and could probably quote scripture quite well, does not seem to know the Bible. First off, Paul was telling the women not to talk in church because they were ruining worship for other's (kinda like when a person talks during a movie). These women had never been allowed in worship before and had no clue what was going on so therefore they were asking questions and distracting people who were trying to worship. This pastor would know this if he ever read any biblical commentary that looked at the history of the area. Paul wasn't anti-women as Christian leaders: he worked alongside and lifted up the leadership of Tabitha, Eunice, Euodias, Syntyche, Lois, Lydia, Phoebe, and Junia, as well as others. And the Bible isn't anti-women, there is Sarah, Hannah, Rebekah (who I'm named after), Elizabeth (my middle name), Mary, Deborah, Anna, Orpah, Ruth, Rachel, Martha, Miriam and the list can go on and on. How can a man who uses scripture so easily forget about all these women who God has called, lead and upheld as leaders of the faith?

But most importantly I have felt loved. Not by the author of this letter, but by my family, friends and congregation who have felt the same outrage and sadness I have felt about this letter. I have also felt loved by all of my family, friends, pastors, colleagues and fellow worshipers who have supported me in my faith journey, who encouraged me to go to seminary, regardless of my gender, and who continue to pray for me and the ministry that God has sent me to do. I hope and pray that this author feels as loved and supported as I have, even when faced with people who spout hatred, superiority and smugness at him because of something that he cannot control.

38 comments:

  1. This just stuns me. What bible is this guy reading because it is not my bible.

    What this guy is spewing is pure evil. Unfortunately it seems that evil has found a home in our churches. I come from a liberal denomination yet it's the local churches that call the shots. I've just suffered a purely evil experience myself within the church. Now I know why Jesus was crucified on the cross, not for our sins but because of our sins.

    God bless you my sister in ministery.

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  2. sigh. I know those people are out there, but I like to think they aren't. I wish they would go away. Know that you ARE called and gifted and a beloved child of God, and this guy can...well...I won't say. ;-)

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  3. You know, it's a wonder why so many people run screaming from organized religion.

    I am so sorry that this man who claims to be a man of God spewed this garbage. I for one am darn proud of you.

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  4. You know I'm not surprised, because as a lesbian I have been on the receiving side of a lot of such rejection, but I'm sorry that you had to experience this.
    May you be blessed on your ordination.

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  5. I'm sorry, but not surprised, that you've had this experience at the hands, or pen, of some of our fellow sisters and brothers in Christ.

    If it's at all helpful to reframe this incident...in my experience fundamentalists (of all belief systems) suffer from a great deal of fear. They may sound smug and arrogant and judgmental, but below that surface is a roiling river of fear -- fear that they're not getting it right. Irony of ironies -- they're the ones who need to be evangelized -- evangelized about the love and grace of God. They really do not have a clue.

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  6. Now that I have read that "letter" it blows my mind even more. I could never imagine sending something like that to anyone for any reason even if I did disagree with them.
    Like the old motto says "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" - what does he expect from sending that letter? For you to say "oh I never realized that" and quit?

    I am glad you shared this and I am glad that you are sharing the other wonderful things you are doing in ministry.

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  7. Great post! If this pastor is going to use the Bible to put others down, he should at least get the context right! But it is jerks like this who help me appreciate the good and kind Christians who have helped me along the way. And that's not even counting the people I have read whose words made a big difference, but I never told them. It seems you would fit in this category...please keep it up!

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  8. Dude! For real?! That's nuts. I hope you and Bob are doing well. Peace friend!

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  9. Oh, I am so sad, insulted, outraged...words fail me. I suppose the scripture-quoting preacher forgot that we would be known as Christ's disciples by our love--which certainly is absent in that dispicable letter!

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  10. Wow. Kudos to you for being able to write out such a measured, thoughtful post about this. I wouldn't have been able to make much sense beyond *#&*&$ *$(*@#$* %&*($&%

    So sorry that you had to even receive something like this from a man who is as misguided in his understanding of the Christian faith.

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  11. The dude might like to re-read John 13 and be reminded that we show everyone that we are Christ's disciples when we show LOVE to one another.

    My prayers are with you for a joyous installation, an affirmation of God's work and purpose for your life, and for peace to reign. Praise be that you have a supportive, caring congregation and family to be there for you. God's got your back. Preach on, sister.

    Deb

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  12. Hi Rebecca!

    I don't know you, but I came here via a friend's blog so I could give you a little love.

    I am also appalled, but sadly not shocked. That kind of mentality is exactly what I grew up with, and what nearly drove me from my faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ. But, thankfully, I knew Him and His love and it overpowered that hatred and small-mindedness.

    I am praying for you and for your church. I know God has called you for a purpose and I know that as long as you listen to His calling, that the enemy will not prevail against you. I pray for grace, strength, peace, and wisdom for the days ahead of you. May the light of Christ and His good news be a beacon through YOU!

    In love,
    Rebekah Johnson

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  13. As all the others, I'm saddened, but not shocked. I know this attitude, though in an area of the country where there are a lot more Lutherans than baptists, I haven't run into them quite as closely, at least lately.

    My prayers and thoughts are with you as you begin your God-given ministry. And prayers for the congregation of the pastor who sent that awful letter, as well.

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  14. Great post. Appalling, but not surprising. Civility has been drowned out by righteous anger and judgmental abusers of power. Fundamentalists use the bible as a weapon to impose power and control over people, becoming slaves to the words but not servants of the WORD. Self-righteousness requires that someone is rejected, demonized, written off. In rejecting you, he rejected the Holy Spirit. May God open the eyes of the blind writer of the letter.

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  15. Wow, I'm so sorry about this. That was such a small and graceless thing for Baptist Pastor to do.

    I'm a lesbian Lutheran who serves the church as a music director, and understand what it is to be judged by things over which you have no control, and which are (in my mind, at least) spiritually neutral.

    Peace, Sister. I will pray for you (and for BP and his congregation). Many, many blessings to you in your new call.

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  16. This is truly unbelievable. I resonate with what Choralgirl is saying, and can only wish you peace peace peace in the Risen Lord.

    Your congregation will be a light to the community.
    Thank God God is in charge, and not God's people.

    Bless you, dear one.

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  17. I am so sorry that you were treated in such a disrespectful and ungodly way. As a fellow clergywoman, I congratulate you on your installation.

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  18. Thanks for sharing. I think it is really important that you don't give any power to this letter. This is an old issue. The predecessor bodies of the ELCA have been ordaining women for nearly 40 years now. Imagine those first women in seminary! I've heard some of their disheartening tales about discrimination from everyone, including their fellow students. Those women becoming pastors in the 70s were really our pioneers. Today, things are so wonderfully different and many women can walk into ordained ministry with virtually no discrimination. I encourage you to focus on this, rather than the unenlightened letter you received. Celebrate what we have achieved as a denomination. Focus upon your calling with gratitude and allow any remaining negative feelings to fall away. You don't need them encumbering you in your ministry. I've got lots more encouragement where this came from so feel free to contact me.

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  19. Found you through a friend on Twitter. Speaking as an ordained Baptist woman, I can claim firsthand experience with those kinds of comments. Fundamentalists will use every chance possible to spout their hate (couched in cherry-picked scripture), especially towards women called by God. I'm sorry you had to experience this but I hope it only strengthens your resolve to serve the Christ who reconciles everyone to a loving & merciful Creator. Blessings on your journey, sister.

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  20. Becca,

    I would encourage you to embrace love and forgiveness for this person. The only power it has is what you give it.

    The person who wrote the letter lives in that world. They are subject to their own thoughts that they put down in that letter. That is the life they live. And that's sad if you think about it. You don't live in that world. You live in a world of compassion and grace.

    I encourage you to be strong and courageous as you stand with dignity in this momemnt. But don't strike back.

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  21. Unfortunately, I'm not surprised or shocked by the letter. I was raised in a similar atmosphere, where snippets of scripture are taken totally out of context to support or condemn something. I wonder if the author of this letter is pastor to a Fundamental Baptist congregation. This group is one of the most conservative of the 57 varieties of Baptist schools of thought. It's very similar in some ways to Holiness denominations in its view & treatment of women, use of ONLY the KJV Bible (that's the language Jesus used, don'tcha know?), list of "worldly" temptations which must be avoided, etc.

    I'm very sorry you were the target of this "pastor." He could be a poster child for modern-day Pharisees. (It just occurred to me -- if your name were one used by both males & females (like Chris, Pat or Terry), the anti-women parts of the letter would possibly be different, but I'm sure his venom would seep through in other areas.) I urge you to use his harsh, condemning words to re-affirm your own beliefs as a beloved child of God.

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  22. I am not shocked however it is utterly ridiculous that people are still arguing this point. I can't tell you how much I feel for you and have experienced similar things...and I am in a denomination that has been ordaining women for 50 years. I was part of a co-pastorship in which both of us were in the candidacy process and not yet licensed. My partner (male) has since been licensed but when it came time for me to be approved by my local church (by then the pastor had changed) they said they "did not know me" and could not approve me. It is very well known that this particular pastor does not like the idea that women are ordained even though he chose to join a denomination that does just that. ????. It was horrific. The conference had to step in and I was slandered in the process. (He couldn't say it was because I was a women so he had to say other things)

    All I can say is try not to be angry (boy was I angry) and swim where the water's warm - that's where God is!

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  23. I am saddened and outraged by this, too. Grace and peace to you as you continue to walk in God's light and love.

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  24. Well, if nothing else, this letter gives you some understanding of what needs to be addressed in your community . . .

    Blessings on you and your ministry and strength for the journey!

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  25. Dear Becca,

    I am so sorry that anyone would feel compelled to write such a letter and that you have had to receive and read such a letter.

    My best advice to you is this: File 13 aka the wastepaper basket aka the recycling bin...

    Do not give this another thought - do not give it any more energy.

    God the Creator known to us in Christ and evident in the Holy Spirit will sustain you in your ministry. Keep your focus and energy directed toward our great Three in One.

    As time goes on, you will find other moments like the one when you first read this letter. Let them go to - do not give them any energy. Do not let them distract you from your focus: God the Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer.

    And as many others have said: all God's GOOD gifts and Deep Peace and Blessings to YOU!

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  26. I applaud women like you who are brave enough to live out your calling among such ignorant bible-bullies. If you really want to blow that guys reading of 1 Corinthians 14:34-36, check out the quotation theory, which I actually think is more plausible than the "women were disruptive chatter boxes" theory. :) Check it out: www.abandonimage.blogspot.com/2008/03/silent-church-women-part-3.html

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  27. You know, this was deeply painful to read. As a Baptist Pastor I feel...I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Truly and deeply sorry. Not to own what isn't mine, but this is from one of my brothers and sisters in the Baptist Tradition. I take this kind of thing very seriously.

    May God bless your ministry. And thank you for your courage in sharing this thing.

    Peace and All Good Things,

    Tripp

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  28. I just wanted to tell you that there will always be a place for you with the people of God, no matter what.

    This is not changed by the letter. This is not changed by how I and others here grew up. This is not changed by anything that anyone may ever say or do about or to you. There isn't anything that exists or could ever happen that can divide you from God's radical call on your life.

    I believe what this letter represents is withering away. It's being over-run by other plants in God's garden and soon we will barely find it even when we look for it. I really do believe this. Or rather, I should say I really do hope this, which has an even more powerful hold on my life.

    God bless you as you struggle to love in the face of such fear.

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  29. Blessings on your ministry! You are supported by your brothers and sister throughout the ELCA - even in southern Illinois. The Gospel is about grace and acceptance - not about hate and exclusion. Blessings!
    SBD+

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  30. 1Cr 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

    1Cr 13:5 It (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

    1Cr 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

    And lastly:

    1Cr 11:5 And every woman who prays or prophesies ......

    How do you prophesy without speaking?

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  31. Props to you from the other side of the planet.
    Your response to his letter reveals the content of your character.
    Just as his letter reveals the content of his character.

    Congratulations on your installation, and may you have a blessed and fruitful ministry.

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  32. I admire your courage for sharing. Your measured response to the ignorance (of the meaning of Scripture) and pride of the writer speaks volumes of your maturity. Go forth in the love and authority of the Lord who has called you to serve Him. Your ministry will touch and bless many lives.

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  33. Your emotions are getting the better of you. You have no reason to "feel violated". I see no evidence of "hatred, superiority and smugness" whatsoever.

    It saddens me that some people are so burdened by keeping laws that are impossible to keep

    What exactly is "impossible to keep" about not ordaining women? Wasn't it was done exclusively for hundreds of years?

    You don't know that women in his congregation are "treated as second class citizens incapable of any actual thought". His opposition is to women clergy. You honestly can't see the distinction there?

    I am insulted that he is judging my character based entirely on my gender

    I don't see where he judged your character at all. The dispute revolves around the meaning of a passage in the Bible.

    And I don't see how he is "spouting hate". It's the duty of God's people to speak up for what is right. Besides, didn't you initiate the contact?

    Don't misunderstand me. I am not judging your character or your heart. But listen, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 says what it says. It doesn't seem to me that it means "kinda like when a person talks during a movie". How can we as people of God ignore God's word?

    And frankly, for a pastor to be talking in terms of "what is between my pants" doesn't honor God.

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  34. In Christ Jesus there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female...I swear I read that somewhere....

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  35. Rebecca, I don't even know you but I have had similar experiences in the past. May God bless you and keep you strong in His anointing and may you feel His pleasure and purpose in your call. Thanks for sharing so honestly and redemptively.

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  36. Paul was not the Lord. Paul never met the Lord. The issues that existed in Paul's time do not exist in ours. Paul was an early travelling preacher who got a lot of things wrong. All those who use Christianity to advance hate lean heavily on Paul. His words are advice, not the word of God. Oh, and Lou Franklin, use your brain, God put it there to do more than keep your skull filled. Stop verse picking and learn to read the documents that where placed in the NT as whole books, not collections of aphorisms.

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  37. To say "Paul never met the Lord" is theologically inaccurate. 1 Corithians IS one of "the documents that where [sic] placed in the NT".

    The Bible is the sacred book of Christianity. You are welcome to believe it is "wrong", but Christians disagree.

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