I have been wrestling with God over various parts of my life this last month in particular. No particular hardship or trauma has caused me to start arguing with God, nor has I been wrestling with some of the bigger questions in life. Just a bunch of little things that make me want to ask God why can't it all be just a little bit easier. But when reading and preparing for today sermon, I was able to reflect on other times in my life when I really wrestled with God and why even though those moments really sucked at time I am who I am today because I went through those struggles. So now I'm embracing my current wrestling, knowing I will be transformed, and therefore allowing the struggle to happen instead of thinking that I'm not allowed to struggle.
We all have wrestled with God at some point, and I hope that this sermon helps you embrace the struggle.
When have you struggled with God? When have you asked God why is life not going the way it should? Or when did you argued with God because someone you loved died long before you were read to let go of them? Or maybe you argued with God because you watched your loved one suffer for a long time before God was willing to let them die in peace?
When have you struggled trying to equate a portion of scripture with your own political or theological beliefs?
When have you struggled with the big questions: How was the earth/universe created? What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What if my faith isn’t strong enough? What if my religion is the wrong one? ……. Is there a god?
Notice that I asked “when” have you struggled, not “if” you have struggled.
Because we have all at times struggled with our faith. We all have at times questioned God. We all have had times when we just want to argue with God. We all have had times when we think we could do a better job than God. We all have wrestle with the big questions. We all have had our moments of doubt.
Jesus told his disciples a parable to remind them to always pray and to not lose heart. Timothy was reminded to keep preaching the gospel whether the time is favorable or unfavorable because Paul knew that all who do God’s work will have moments of doubt and need encouragement. And Jacob wrestled with God, physically.
Jacob was worried that his brother was going to kill him because years before he had tricked him out of his birthright and their father’s blessing. And Jacob was alone as he sent his family ahead of him so that they may not be harmed due to his transgressions. And in the mist of him being alone and scared he wrestled with God.
This wasn’t the WWE type of wrestling with cheesy scripts, flashy costumes and whacking one another over the head with metal folding chairs. This was rolling in the dirt trying to gain leverage on your opponent type of wrestling. This was the primal fight for your life type of wrestling, when animal instincts kick in and you scratch and crawl in order to come out not just the victor but to come out unharmed from serious injury.
Sometimes our wrestling with God is like this primal type of wrestling for our lives. We wrestle with God when it comes to our physical life, praying that God will cure us, or allow us or a loved one to live. We wrestle with God for our emotional lives. With tears, heartaches, sadness, despair, grief, and depression we cry out to God day and night. We wrestle with God for our intelligential lives. Pondering, questioning, studying, disputing, and examining the big questions in life and trying to match scripture and dogma to our own personal theology and beliefs. We wrestle with God for our spiritual lives. Praying, meditating, lamenting, singing, and calling upon God to be our help in times of trial.
And in many ways we wrestle with God the hardest when we feel alone and scared in this world. We wrestle the hardest when we know we have been deceitful, we wrestle when we know we have sinned against God and others. We wrestle the hardest when we feel like everyone else has abandoned us. We wrestle the hardest when we feel like we are at our darkest hour.
But by the time dawn breaks, Jacob is transformed because he wrestled with God. Jacob is transformed physically as his hip socket is put out of joint. Many traditions depict Jacob limping for the rest of his life. Jacob is transformed spiritually as God blesses him. And Jacob’s very being is also transformed as he is renamed Israel, which means “God rules” or “God struggles”
And through our wrestles with God, when our dawn breaks and crises that caused our struggles starts to fad, we are transformed by our wrestling with God. Our faith lives is transformed because we have wrestled with those doubts and most of the time we come out stronger. We are transformed spiritually knowing that through the struggle we have found God’s blessing. And our very being is transformed as we are reminded that we have been renamed in the waters of baptism as children of God.
Our doubt has transformed us. Our struggles have transformed us. Our wrestling has transformed us. And as much as those periods in our lives were full of sorrow and despair, as much as those periods in our lives were upsetting, and full of turmoil, as much as those periods we hard physically, emotionally and spiritually, once we are through the struggle we are able to realize that it is because we struggled that we are the people that we are today. Because we questioned, we found answers. Because we argued, we found peace. Because we struggled, we are able to be calm. Because we doubted, our faith was made stronger. Because we were persistent in prayer, we have heard God’s word. Because we called out to God, we were able to hear God’s voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment