The Overwhelming Church

This past week during a visit from family members I had pretty much the same, but individual conversations with one of Bob's siblings and his wife.  It was basically about their church lives, or lack of church life, now.

About a year ago they moved into a house about 15 miles from the church they were previously attending and pretty much used the move as an excuse to stop attending worship at that congregation. This is a reasonable excuse in the upper Midwest where there are about 100 congregations within a 15 mile radius.  The congregation had been wonderful to them when they first joined and especially during the birth of their son - for a few weeks fellow congregation members brought them dinner every night so they did not have to figure out how to feed themselves on top of learning to take care of a new baby.

However they quickly began to feel overwhelmed.  My sister-in-law liken the congregation to a clingy
boyfriend that doesn't take the hint that you aren't looking for the same level of commitment.  They would be asked to help out with various events - not because they had the gifts and skills needed for the event or were passionate about the project but because they needed 8 more people to have this event happen and can't they be 2 of the 8.


They would often say yes but out of guilt instead of out of a sense of calling or that they personally were needed. And if they said no they still felt guilt because they were made to feel that it would be because of their lack of attendance that an event would not take place.  They were made to feel like just warm bodies to fill a slot instead of followers of Jesus called to use their ability to show God's love and grace to the world.

Unfortunately I believe that my family are not the only people to experience an overwhelming church.

In blogs that have appeared in response to Rachel Held Evan's post about Why Millennials are Leaving the Church, people have addressed the desire to do ministry not just fulfill roles. It is when we are asked to just fulfill a role that we have a hard time finding Jesus in churches.  Yesterday Rozella White, the ELCA Young Adult Ministries, in her address to the ELCA Churchwide Assembly, discussed her response when people ask "Where are the young adults? How can we get young adults in our congregation?"  Often people want young adults in their congregation just for institutional survival.  They are tokens who are supposed to be seen but not heard as they cover the missing demographic. They want young adults to fill in slots as a warm body so the church can continue to move on as it always has.

This isn't true for just young adults, but for all new members.  Sometimes congregations are so excited for fresh faces, fresh hands to do the work, that they reach out too overwhelmingly to new members. Evangelism becomes code for getting new people to take over the work you are tired of doing.

But we are called as a church to not be the overwhelming church were we ask people to fill slots and preformed roles in order to maintain the status quo.  We are called to be the church that allows people to explore their assets, their gifts, their skills, their passions in order to use themselves to be the church, to do ministry in this world.

Unfortunately I can't say I am blameless. And here I repent my sins. I know that I have been the overwhelming church - I have asked new members to do too much, to be on too many committees, to help plan too many events, to be the warm body and fill a slot instead of using their gifts for God's work in their world.

But I'm learning. I'm learning to protect new members, to not ask them to do anything for at least a year after they join, but allowing them to join the congregation in ways of doing ministry that they feel called to. While I can't go back in time and fix my past mistakes of being an overwhelming church, I hope to stop future mistakes as I never want to be the clingy boyfriend.